Hey, are you stuck on what to do next in your life? Feeling a pull in many directions? Or worse yet, feeling no pull what so ever? How ever do you make a choice and move forward with your life? (I share some steps to address this below.)
I was feeling this way last month. With the ever increasing rents in the Bay Area and not having my own long-term home I started to wonder where else I could feather my nest. And I was beginning to feel overwhelmed and that all of my efforts were put towards searching and seeking, and not actually enjoying and experiencing living.
Ruling out a few popular go-to spots I've heard other people head to when evacuating the high San Francisco rents, the seed of San Diego was planted. I had always admired the kindness of people I met from San Diego, it seemed like a mandatory characteristic – being extra nice. In fact, at one point after meeting someone really nice, I’d ask, “Are you from San Diego?” And the answer would be, “Yes!”
But this San Diego thing was still overwhelming, I found I was not getting excited about a relocation to San Diego. It wasn't until I took a bite-sized approach and decided to be curious and experiment in San Diego for just a month that I got really, really excited!
So, as of now, I’m writing from my airy and bright Airbnb down in San Diego! I’m here for a month on a self-imposed retreat. My plan is to support my health, get some really good habits into my daily routine, breathe warm ocean air, and pursue ways I can be of service in the world.
Oh, and see the Giants play at the Padres’ park. So far we are down one game. Apparently, the Padres had a winning streak to keep too…
I have begun my life experiment, choose-your-own-adventure style! I’ll be paying attention and looking for what happens next.
If you are finding yourself in a similar boat, having too many or not enough choices, there are a few steps you can take to get clarity. Not sure which career to pursue? What city to move to? Which hobby to take up? #GetCurious!
1. List out all the options that are swirling through your head. Get them all in one spot. If you are stuck on having no ideas, start listing out what you’d be willing to try for a day, a week, or a month (or even what you think you should never try - reverse psychology!). Get social, ask friends what they are in to, look up local classes, ask the cashier what they like to do in their free time…
2. Next, really identify what the base element is about each option that you really are attracted to. So not just a location or job, but what characteristics are there, what’s the generic key that you appreciate.
For example, it's your dream to move to Spain and start a bed-and-breakfast. You identify the generic keys you appreciate as: meeting new people, cooking new recipes with local ingredients, and submerging yourself in the mental work of learning a new language.
3. Next, when keys are identified, start making bite-sized choices based on that attraction. These reasons are your true joy. Make space for one or more of those options to come true.
Since a Spanish resort is not an overnight project, you can take first steps to connect with this joy of yours by signing up for Spanish lessons at the local community college, looking up recipes online, and joining a hiking club so you get to talk to new people on a regular basis.
Now here’s the scary part – by road testing your big dream, you may find that you don’t enjoy it as much as you thought, and then you’re stuck with no dream, no beautiful thoughts to keep you trudging through your stressful day job anymore. (If this fear really resonated with you, hit reply right now and say, “Yes!”)
But as you see, you can repeat these 3 steps and really get to the core of what you actually are passionate about. And you’ll learn when you’re experiencing resistance to greatness, and when you simply are learning something isn’t your cup of tea. Oh my gosh, and you are going to find and harness your true life gift!
Any indication you can make to the world that you're ready for change is a good move. Now here's the trick – you take action towards your joyful goal, then keep paying attention because there may be a new option that appears you couldn't have accounted for before. And that's how people seem lucky – they've prepared for the unseen by staying true to their core.
Go explore all your options, ask a lot of questions, get curious. Choose your own adventure!
So that’s where I am now. I’ve taken action, and I have some joyful ideas in play, AND I’ll be paying attention to what new ideas present themselves. I know I’m exactly where I am suppose to be, incomplete and all!
P.S. If you wanna throw around some ideas of what YOUR key joy elements are and what some adventure steps could be, schedule a call with me. It’s a free call, I love brainstorming with people. Let’s get you some clarity as I have with many other people who have taken me up on this offer! schedule a complimentary call with me!