Something registered so hard and clearly for me tonight, I wanted to share with you.
No, it's not like fight club. We're gonna talk about it!
I had the worst night at a community group tonight, some place I go on a regular basis. But I've never wanted to recommend it more. Why? Because pushing through the shit that got pushed through tonight means we're THROUGH the shit. I hope you can all relate to that! And if you find yourself in something similar, I encourage you to keep on going, and not wade around in it any longer than needed. Bleck!
What worked in my favor tonight? 5 things, mainly.
1. Trusting these people.
2. And when that was questioned a bit, having faith that trust could be restored.
3. Not leaving if there is still a heavy feeling weighing on anyone.
4. Acknowledging everyone's courage to speak up, even if it lands in an awkward/hurting way.
5. CELEBRATING!!! We got through it and we amazed ourselves at our resilience and dedication!
And what's my gift for going through the shit tonight? I got a big gift. And you may think it's the gift of connecting even more with these folks tonight, knowing them even better, expanding my empathy and getting pointers for my work with all of humanity.
That is all very valuable and actually happened and would have been more than plenty, but it's even bigger than that.
My gift is that I got a glimpse into a life-long perspective which has been holding me back. I had been too close to it, and I now can see what that block is. My friend at this event helped create a microcosmic example of one of my life-long challenges. And because I was able to decisively speak an opinion to her scenario, I then had to face reality when I saw a parallel scenario on my plate.
In my work, I never will ask anyone to do something I'm not also willing to do, or better yet, haven't already done. So I had to learn from my request of her around ownership and own my own shit.
Here it is. Often when I feel I'm at the end of a road I tend to look around to lean on others, blame others, or hold others accountable in some way. But I'm now seeing how fine the line can be between speaking out against a hurt and giving your power away vs. just having an opinion and preference; which could build my power. (But then I'd have to own it!)
Tired of having clutter around? Ownership/own your shit - get rid of stuff!
Sick of no healthy food options in your house? Ownership/own your shit - schedule time to meal plan, grocery shop, and cook!
I know, right? All this stuff is easier said than done. And I would never spring to action with such a demand. So, all I ask for you to do is take note that you have more power than you think. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for, and there are people around you who will connect to your courage as you connect with what is really important in your life.
Sometimes the reason shit happens is just to remind you that sometimes shit happens AND THAT YOU ARE RESILIENT ENOUGH TO RECOVER FROM IT!!!
As it's difficult to remember we are so resilient, it's important to have a trusted group to support you and reflect back to you your awesomeness. And sometimes provide some practical insight from their own experience.
If you'd like to learn how to start your own success/accountability/support community group - email me and tell me. I'll share with you some best practices for getting together and finding your people. Cuz I hope one day you too will be able to have the worst night that helps you break through your limiting patterns!!!
Here's to success! Here's to needing other people! Here's to owning your shit!